Thursday, October 7, 2010

Death

I'm sorry I have been MIA in the blogging world. I promise to be better and this weekend I will post a catch-up post. But something happened today and I just needed to get my emotions out. I'm not by my journal so I needed an outlet. You happen to be it. I'm not very eloquent about grief so bear with me as I put my feelings on the page.

This morning, a student from the school where I teach died in a car accident. She was waiting for the bus when another girl, driving a car without permission or driver's license, hit her. Both girls were only 13 years old...13. I didn't know either of them, but the shock to the school, to the students and to the faculty has been dramatic. It feels like a dark, heavy cloud has come over the school and is pressing down on everyone. I couldn't believe how much the loss affected me personally. As I said, I didn't know either girl, but as I watched my own students struggle with this tragedy, I just wanted to wrap them up in a big hug, cry a few tears with them and take away the grief. Instead, I watched as a bystander, not knowing what to do to help, yet wanting to help so badly. As I watched and felt useless, I kept wondering why I felt so awful, so sad. And the more that I thought about the affects of this loss, the more I realized that my school is such a tight-knit community and a loss, no matter how well or little I knew the student, is still a terrible loss for us as a school. It made me recognize and feel grateful for such a wonderful school to be part of.

And yet this was still a major trajedy, a double tragedy. For the family and friends of the girl who died, their pain is intense and their loss very real. But I also feel immense pity for the girl driving the car. From what my fellow teachers have said, this girl was a sweetheart. She made good decisions and treated everyone well. They were shocked to learn that the driver in the accident was this girl. Unfortunately, she made one bad decision, one single moment of irresponsible thinking, that led to an accidental death, a death that she will have to live with for the rest of her life. So not only was today about mourning for a student who passed away, but it was also about a student who just lost the life she knew. She accidentaly took the life of another and consequently will never be the same nor will the lives of those involved ever be the same.

So to sum, today sucks.

4 comments:

Morgan said...

Sorry Alyssa. Truthfully the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to write it out, express those emotions and give hugs, and cry. Letting your students know that it is okay to morn, okay to express how they feel and do so in a safe environment will help you and them. Pray for strength and comfort and know that everything will be all right. I'm sorry for your loss.

Casey said...

I heard about that in the news. I had no idea it had effected any one I know personally! Those kids are lucky to have you right now :)

Sarah said...

it happened just down the street from us and it seems very real to us too even though we don't know the girls involved. i'm sure the young women in our ward know the girls and i'm sure it is affecting them along with all the other family and friends out there. so so sad. those girls will definitely be in our prayers. i hope all the students and teachers at your school can cope with it okay. we are incredibly lucky to understand the plan of salvation and know that god is merciful. best of luck at school dealing with this horrible tragedy.

Elise said...

I agree with what Morgan said. If you are having a hard time during class, it's okay to express it. It shows the students that you have a safe environment in your classroom and it will probably make them feel better too, to know that their teacher is aware of it and it kind of makes you more of a "real" person in their eyes. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Death is a hard thing. It makes you realize how fragile life is and how quickly your world can turn upside-down. I'm sorry you have to go through this.